When Is It Ok to Lie?

Several years ago my husband and I taught a self defense class in an inner city community based organization for youth. We were brought in because one of the youth had been sexually abused and the leaders at the center wanted to help the youth to:

 1) know it wasn't their fault if they had been or ever would be abused (we spoke to the youth about the important resource they had in their trained councelors)

2) how to possibly get out of an abusive situation.

 

We also talked about 1)listening to their intution 2) de-escalating techniques 3) basic self defense moves and 4) how to stay out of or get out of a potentially dangerous situtation

 

Talking about handling dangerous situations we told the youth that there are times it's ok to tell a predator that your father will be picking you up in a few minutes, when in actually isn't. It's ok to agree with an agressive person looking for a fight when what they're saying isn't true---we told them truth and honesty strengthen relationships and build character, which they understood but that a lie to get out of a situation that could be physically harmful is an important resource.

Lying is an elementary means of self-defense Susan Sontag

Using Your Head for Self Defense

How do you use your head in self defense? This is a question I often ask my classes

1) Use it as a weapon, by head butting your attacker

2) Use your common sence when dealing with someone

3) Use your mind to know whether you should be somewhere

4) Tap into your intuition and believe in it, it will never lead you astray

Resilience

I found this quote today, if I had one word for this quote it would be Resilience. 

The definition of  Resilience from Merriam-Webster
: the ability to become strong, healthy, or successful again after something bad happens

: the ability of something to return to its original shape after it has been pulled, stretched, pressed, bent, etc.

Full Definition of RESILIENCE

1:  the capability of a strained body to recover its size and shape after deformation caused especially by compressive stress

2:  an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change 

The reason I actually went into martial arts and self defense was due to this word, resilience. One of my inner city students threatened my life. In these types of circumstances a person has a choice to  become a victim or to stand tall, in other words be a victim, always worried about what will happen next or choose to live life wonderfully.

I chose to be proactive and set out to learn how to protect myself. Several years after begining my education I began teaching people how to protect themselves. About a week after one of these self-defense classes, one of the participants, a Lady Doctor, called and said I had saved her life. For the first time in her career she found herself in a situation that could have been deadly if not for some of the techniques she had just learned in a short 2 hour class.

I love having the opportunity to empower resilient people!

 Resources: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/resilience

Being Prepared

Being prepared to me means to think ahead of time and plan for any dangers, tragedies, trials, difficulties or fun times. Preparing means mentally and physically doing something before an event occurs that may cause disturbance to your regular schedule.

Simply put

Plan

Prepare

Perform

If I were to go on a trip, I would do these three things;

Plan---the mind mapping and brain storming stage

Who--who would I want to come along, who would I want to see

What--what would I want to see, what would I need for the trip, what type of resources do I need

Where--where would I want to go

Why--why am I going (business, family, fun, funeral...etc)

How--how am I going to get to where I want to go

Prepare---Getting things ready for the trip stage, this is the physical part

Who--setting up care for cat, dog, children, parents, work---or packing bags for people/animals that will be coming on the trip

What--getting things I need for my trip, i.e. passport, luggage, clothing

Where--get maps or GPS for the place I'm going

Why--this would help in the preparation of what type of clothing I would bring on my trip

How--making hotel and transportation reservations

Perform

Go on my trip and have fun or get my business done

5 Fingers of Self Defense

Think
Think of quick exits, deescalating techniques, where not to be

Yell
Yell/Scream with everything you've got--fire is the best thing to scream

Run
Run away, for safety, to a group of people

Fight 
Fight for your life and those who you take care of and who care for you

Tell

Immediately tell the police, even if nothing happened, because next time something might happen to you or someone else

 

When Walking

When walking to your car by yourself always be prepared. Before leaving the building get your car keys out and have them in your hand. Don't have other things in your hands. If you need to defend yourself, you want your hands free of any distractions.

Self-Defense Easy To Learn To Protect Yourself From An Attacker

What a great news cast for protecting your self against an attacker. I love that they give the watchers practicle ways to avoid the situation.

1) Walking in Groups
2) Staying in well lit areas
3) Being aware of your environment
4) Practice to help muscle memory

“It doesn’t matter who you are, where you come from, what your background is, whether you’re male or female, you could be a victim.” Lewi Gault, a personal trainer and self-defense teacher, from Fitness in the City

Resource: http://kdvr.com/2015/03/13/self-defense-easy-to-learn-to-protect-yourself-from-an-attacker/

How to Avoid Carjacking

A couple of months ago, a news cast was shown about the spree of car jacks in Reno, NV. The newscaster, a woman, asked a police officer what the best defense was...surprisingly he didn't say some of the most obvious
1) Keep you car doors locked at all times
2) Keep you car windows rolled up to the point that no one could actually open the car door through them
3) Be conscious about where you're driving, the area of the city and the people walking around you
4) Always drive so that if a car stops in front of you, you could easily drive around them if you had to
5) If someone puts their arm in your window, close your window while ducking below the window---as well as start to drive away with their arm in the window---they'll get the point
6) Keep your radio down so that you can hear anything abnormal around you

More Tips from Department of Public Safety of University of Southern California

"Carjacking is a serious, traumatic and often violent form of vehicle theft. It is a crime of opportunity that threatens an individual’s personal safety. Carjackers utilize particular conditions to select their victims, targeting vulnerable, unaware and/or unprepared people. It is important to appear confident and be aware of your surroundings at all times, especially when driving at reduced speeds and stopping or parking at:

• Intersections controlled by stoplights or signs
• Garages and commuter parking areas, shopping malls and grocery stores
• Self-service gas stations and car washes
• Drive-thru banks
• Residential driveways and streets where people are often get into and out of cars
• Freeway exits and entry ramps

 

The key to avoiding this crime is prevention. It is a good idea to think about what to do if you became a carjacking victim. You can reduce your risk by considering the following precautions:

• Keep all doors locked and windows up when driving
• Keep your valuables out of view
• When possible, do not drive alone in remote or unfamiliar areas
• Service your vehicle regularly to ensure it is working properly
• Travel on main roads as much as possible
• Try to drive in the lane nearest to the road’s center to distance any would-be pedestrian attacker and to avoid being pushed to the shoulder
• Drive on well-lit streets at night
• When stopped in traffic, leave enough space between vehicles to allow you to move forward
• Do not park next to high-profile vehicles such as vans that could conceal a suspect
• When walking to your car have keys in hand, and enter your vehicle quickly
• Do not pull over if a suspicious driver motions you to do so
• If you feel you are being followed by another vehicle, do not drive home
• If you are involved in a minor accident or think your car was hit intentionally, do not check the damage in a remote area – motion the other driver to follow you to the nearest police station or open business to exchange information
• If you are in an accident, take your keys and purse or wallet with you when you get out of the car"

Resources: http://emergencyplan.usc.edu/department/department-public-safety/carjacking

Prevention definition

pre·ven·tion--definition from Merriam Webster



: the act or practice of stopping something bad from happening
: the act of preventing something





Picture: http://www.ltlmagazine.com/article/six-steps-c-difficile-prevention
Original definition from the following website: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/prevention

Avoiding Danger

“People should learn to see and so avoid all danger. Just as a wise man keeps away from mad dogs so one should not make friends with evil men” 

Buddha

Picture: http://bit.ly/18V6A3Q

Strikes 1

There are many strikes in self defense and martial arts that will assist you with getting away from an assalent quickly. In an attack you have seconds and each one counts to your survival so use them wisely.

Here I will describe some powerful strikes that will give you some extra time.

For these strikes to be successful, you will need to practice them often. When practicing use fast motion because in a real situation you will want to be fast, due to your time factor.

Knee to the Groin
Lift your left or right leg so that it may be parallel to the ground, bending the knee so that it creats a 90 degree angle, into your attacker






 
Elbow Stikes
The elbow strike can be used in a number of positions and for a number of reasons

a) When someone is attacking from behind---Arm close to body, palm up (facing forward), elbow pointing toward the ground, move your elbow straight back into your attacker

b) When someone is attacking your front----Arm close to your body, palm up (facing forward), elbow pointing toward the ground, move your elbow up into your attacker

c) When someone is attacking from your side--Arm close to your body, forearm touching your mid stomach, palm down (facing towards the ground), move elbow sideways into your attacker ribs or move your elbow up into your attackers face.

d) When someone is attacking you from your side--Wrist in front of your face, palm down (facing toward the ground), move your arm straight or slightly upward into your attacker

Pictures:
http://tucsoncitizen.com/morgue/2007/06/11/54232-indomitable/
http://sfroadwarrior.blogspot.com/2014/05/self-defense-moves-for-runners.html
http://www.sheknows.com/health-and-wellness/articles/967005/self-defense-for-women-krav-maga-workout/page:2

Definition of Intuition

in·tu·i·tion--definition from Merriam-Webster

": a natural ability or power that makes it possible to know something without any proof or evidence : a feeling that guides a person to act a certain way without fully understanding why

: something that is known or understood without proof or evidence

1    :  quick and ready insight

2

a :  immediate apprehension or cognition

b :  knowledge or conviction gained by intuition

c :  the power or faculty of attaining to direct knowledge or cognition without evident rational thought and inference

1. "Intuition was telling her that something was very wrong."

Picture: http://www.woowoo-diva.com/dynamic-intuition.html
Original definition from the website: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/intuition

Internet Safety for Children and their Parents

A video that all parents should watch with their children and have a discussion about

Some Questions to start a discussion with your child about internet

Would be Child Predator was Thwarted Due to a Good Samaritan

In July 2014, Landover, Maryland, a would be child predator was thwarted due to a Good Samaritan. Take away from this newscast---be vigilant and aware of your environment to help yourself, friends, loved ones as well as other people who may need your help.

Good Samaritan Being Aware of His Environment and Would be Kidnapper in Santa Clarita

 

Take away from the following news story----be aware of your environment not just for yourself or your family, friends, loved ones but for anyone who might need your assistance

"Deputies locate girl who fled would-be kidnapper in Santa Clarita by Veronica Rocha, November 14, 2014, Los Angeles Times

"Authorities have located a 13-year-old girl who they say was a victim of a kidnapping attempt Wednesday in Santa Clarita.

"A driver spotted the attempted kidnapping about 8:30 a.m. in the area of Sierra Highway and Jakes Way, yelled at the suspect and told the girl to run and call authorities, Los Angeles County Sheriff's Deputy Joshua Dubin said.

"Meanwhile, the driver watched the man -- identified as Guillermo Lomeli Ceniceros, 39, of Rosamond -- until he was taken into custody by deputies.

"After arresting Ceniceros, police made a public appeal for the girl to come forward.
Dubin said Ceniceros and the girl are "complete strangers." "They do not know each other and they never had any previous contact," he said.

"Detectives found additional witnesses and plan to interview them about the incident.
Ceniceros, who is being held on $100,000 bail, is scheduled to appear in court Friday."



Resources:
http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-deputies-locate-girl-of-kidnap-attempt-20141113-story.html
Author: veronica.rocha@latimes.com

De-escalation Techiques

1) Appear calm---appearing calm puts you in control of the situation

2) Use a normal speaking voice---unless the situation becomes combative, than scream as loud as you can to get attention from others

3) Don't be offended or get defensive with what a person is saying


4) Be aware of your environment---know where the doors and walls are and who else is in the environment----never put your back toward the individual your speaking with

5) Pay attention to where the individual is going and what he is doing

6) Keep your hands up and available to use as tools, it also shows the person you don't have a weapon

7) Repeat what the person is saying to make sure they know you heard what they said

8) You may want to agree with the individual---ie
Combative person "You're mother wears combat boots"
You "yep you're right she does"

9) ALWAYS ALWAYS----Trust your intuition

# De-escalationTechiques #SelfDefense #defendingyourself #easyselfdefense #SelfDefensehabits #SelfDefensetips #teachingchildrenselfdefense #Trustyourintuition



Picture
http://www.blitzmag.net/self-defence/199-de-escalation-victory-without-violence