When Is It Ok to Lie?

Several years ago my husband and I taught a self defense class in an inner city community based organization for youth. We were brought in because one of the youth had been sexually abused and the leaders at the center wanted to help the youth to:

 1) know it wasn't their fault if they had been or ever would be abused (we spoke to the youth about the important resource they had in their trained councelors)

2) how to possibly get out of an abusive situation.

 

We also talked about 1)listening to their intution 2) de-escalating techniques 3) basic self defense moves and 4) how to stay out of or get out of a potentially dangerous situtation

 

Talking about handling dangerous situations we told the youth that there are times it's ok to tell a predator that your father will be picking you up in a few minutes, when in actually isn't. It's ok to agree with an agressive person looking for a fight when what they're saying isn't true---we told them truth and honesty strengthen relationships and build character, which they understood but that a lie to get out of a situation that could be physically harmful is an important resource.

Lying is an elementary means of self-defense Susan Sontag

Using Your Head for Self Defense

How do you use your head in self defense? This is a question I often ask my classes

1) Use it as a weapon, by head butting your attacker

2) Use your common sence when dealing with someone

3) Use your mind to know whether you should be somewhere

4) Tap into your intuition and believe in it, it will never lead you astray

Resilience

I found this quote today, if I had one word for this quote it would be Resilience. 

The definition of  Resilience from Merriam-Webster
: the ability to become strong, healthy, or successful again after something bad happens

: the ability of something to return to its original shape after it has been pulled, stretched, pressed, bent, etc.

Full Definition of RESILIENCE

1:  the capability of a strained body to recover its size and shape after deformation caused especially by compressive stress

2:  an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change 

The reason I actually went into martial arts and self defense was due to this word, resilience. One of my inner city students threatened my life. In these types of circumstances a person has a choice to  become a victim or to stand tall, in other words be a victim, always worried about what will happen next or choose to live life wonderfully.

I chose to be proactive and set out to learn how to protect myself. Several years after begining my education I began teaching people how to protect themselves. About a week after one of these self-defense classes, one of the participants, a Lady Doctor, called and said I had saved her life. For the first time in her career she found herself in a situation that could have been deadly if not for some of the techniques she had just learned in a short 2 hour class.

I love having the opportunity to empower resilient people!

 Resources: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/resilience