When Is It Ok to Lie?

Several years ago my husband and I taught a self defense class in an inner city community based organization for youth. We were brought in because one of the youth had been sexually abused and the leaders at the center wanted to help the youth to:
 1) know it wasn't their fault if they had been or ever would be abused (we spoke to the youth about the important resource they had in their trained councelors)
2) how to possibly get out of an abusive situation.
We also talked about 1)listening to their intution 2) de-escalating techniques 3) basic self defense moves and 4) how to stay out of or get out of a potentially dangerous situtation
Talking about handling dangerous situations we told the youth that there are times it's ok to tell a predator that your father will be picking you up in a few minutes, when in actually isn't. It's ok to agree with an agressive person looking for a fight when what they're saying isn't true---we told them truth and honesty strengthen relationships and build character, which they understood but that a lie to get out of a situation that could be physically harmful is an important resource.

Lying is an elementary means of self-defense Susan Sontag

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